Posted by: Cobb County Liberal | September 12, 2009

I have fear in my heart tonight. Thanks APD.

I have fear in my heart right now, due to the Atlanta police department and their stonewallesque raid on the eagle last night.  I feel less safe because of the apd, who’d rather crack down on us queers rather than people murdering and mugging college students five miles away.  What is that?  Do I deserve to be hunted worse than a murderer because I like boys and not girls?

I went down to the eagle, and people are rightfully pissed.  They want to stand up.  But there’s an undercurrent of fear in everyone right now.  Honest to god, not to make light, but I feel as though I’ve been a victim of terrorism.  I feel some of the same thoughts as I did eight years ago today.  Am I safe?  Will I be able to live my life free from fear again?  How could it happen here?  What did we do to deserve this?  What can I do about it?

And to think the police did it this time.

I feel fear tonight.
I feel outrage tonight.

Neither good.  Neither do I like feeling.  Its easy to want the outrage to win out.  Anger over fear.  There’s not much worse than fear.  But anger can be worse to me.

There is no forgiveness in my heart right now and that makes me even angrier.  There is no understanding in my heart right now and that makes me even angrier.

I’ve never been to the eagle before tonight.  I’ve neglected the gay side of me for too long, letting the corporate side of me dominate my life.  No more.

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Responses

  1. I won’t even pretend to understand how you must feel in light of this event, because I’ve never been in your position. But I share your outrage, your anger, and — in a different way — your fear. MY fear isn’t a personal fear, but the fear that our town, despite its seemingly progressive outlook, might truly be as backwards as so many people like to think it is. Stand up to prejudice, Atlanta, no matter what guise it takes.


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